Inner voice :(

took photos today..
and it was so bloody hot.
they took damn long to take summmore.
was sweatin like hell all squashed in the middle.
and i know the photo's gna turn out bad.
its always like that.==

duty is as usual.
we did our jobs and some extras too.*coughcough
anyways..me and vikki were chatting..
and SKY is asleep yet again..
but then daryl cracked a joke.
and made all of us laugh like mad.
its so lame..
and maybe others wont even rmb it anymore.
bt i think its the first time i've ever laughed so hard..
since who knows when.

i havent done anything much today though..
just been rushing in and out...here and there..
nt paying much attention to what i'm doing.
eat, sleep, watch crap vids.
yeah.thats pretty much it.

gosh.
i have got to strt doing some serious studying tmr onwards.
exam is just around the cornerTT

i'm so tired now..
and down as usual.
i'm so used to not talking now.
been holding back every single urge to do so whenever a thought pops up.
and swallowing every word that almost slip through my mouth.
cause now i understand not everyone likes hearing you speak all the time.
and i think i am someone who needs a respond when i speak.
so why share when nobody even gives a damn?
i understand how ppl dont like to reply when they're not in the mood.
i'm becoming one of them..wait..i think i already am.==
i'm just curious how many words and feelings can a heart bare before it breaks apart.
i wonder...

speaking of curiosity..
i have always been a victim of it.
some of the outcomes makes you even braver..
yet some is exactly the opposite.
i guess it just reflects how tough a person is toward impacts.
too bad i'm not someone who's that strong.

i'm putting all the blame on the world.
even though i know i myself am the one who has problems.

i want to change.
i'm tired of being this useless and boring character.
sick of all these bitterness i feel all the time.
i tell myself these things everyday.
yet i have no intention at all to do anything. :(

okay..this blog is starting to sound like an internal monologue.
a crappy one too ==
shit. gotta stop typing to myself.


always keep the faith!

Bitter-ish Heart

been rushing hworks..
doing some addmaths..
studying some bio..
eating oily meals..
and now zits are popping out on my right cheek.
wtf?

finish bio went to watch tv..
finally saw autumn concerto on tv..
strted at 11 and ended at 12.==
but i'm kinda addicted to it now.
cause that main character somehow reminded me of yun.
his single eyelid..cute little smirks..
and his hair..OO
came online for awhile just to check on hotel city and blah.
then accidentally found out this news.
i knew this was coming.
but this hit me too suddenly..
and at all the wrong timing..
i was crying before i even read through it..

fuck you stupid shitass LSM!!!!!

*chills
everything's gonna be okay, right?:)


gosh.have to stay back again tmr.
then weekend will be doing arts and kerja amal.
how fun.==
been alone almost all the time lately.
dont even feel like pretending to smile anymore.
i'm such an anti-social now.
think its time for me to change the future course i had in mind.
how does business sound?:D

sigh.
so so depressed right now.
and tired as hell.
was planning to apply mask for photoshoot tmr..
but i guess its no use now.
well, its really no use anyway..
why pretend to be happy when you cant even fake out a smile.
life can be such a bitch sometimes..
gosh..
i'm such a bitter person..x)


oh well,
always keep the faith!:')

Heroes and Thieves

why does every minute pass by so slowly..
yet hours seems to pass by without any notice?
why sometimes joy..
bring tears too?
can someone still be happy when they're sad?
can something feel so wrong yet so right at the same time?

should i do what i feel like even though i know its a bad thing?
should i do something useless that makes me happy or something that i dread but might actually help me achieve something?
should i believe in someone when i know that none of them could be trusted?
should i love someone even though i know it wont end up happily?
should i still keep the faith even if i fear that it's not helping at all?

blah.
it's time to sign off again.


always keep the faith :')